I dont really know why i couldnt fall asleep. Especially at this hour, no coffee no redbull nothing. Apparently im about to do sth that will change everything and im scared. What if everything that ive invested will be poof just like that? Sigh
I went back to ktn a lot, really.
I kinda miss my life 5 years ago, picturing me living in ktn, sabs, guitar, little things that used to make me happy back then.
Now, im about to face sth bigger and i hate this semester. This audit simulation thingy ? Haih. I wish i didnt have tk go through that. Though im still questioning myself why and what am i doing here, i know i have to do my best to secure a job god dammit.
There are days where i regret doing sth, questioning why didnt i choose this or that path, am i stupid, why am i here, is this the right way, will i be happier if i didnt do this, idk but i know it makes me less grateful and causes me to bleed. I blamed people for the path that i chose. Maybe the key to my happiness now is acceptance.
I hate the fact that i didnt go for the engineering thing, im questioning why my sister is the only one who got to study abroad, why am i doing acca, what am i doing here in sunway, how jealous i am to know that most of my friends had went to uk, japan
Jealousy kills, i know.
There are even days that i question god, why am i even exist. Being so sure that my existence wont bring any differences in anyone’s life.
No answers yet, but perhaps someday.
Oh there are also days that i begged to god that i can see him, real soon.
But then, can i ?
I went back to ktn a lot, really.
I kinda miss my life 5 years ago, picturing me living in ktn, sabs, guitar, little things that used to make me happy back then.
Now, im about to face sth bigger and i hate this semester. This audit simulation thingy ? Haih. I wish i didnt have tk go through that. Though im still questioning myself why and what am i doing here, i know i have to do my best to secure a job god dammit.
There are days where i regret doing sth, questioning why didnt i choose this or that path, am i stupid, why am i here, is this the right way, will i be happier if i didnt do this, idk but i know it makes me less grateful and causes me to bleed. I blamed people for the path that i chose. Maybe the key to my happiness now is acceptance.
I hate the fact that i didnt go for the engineering thing, im questioning why my sister is the only one who got to study abroad, why am i doing acca, what am i doing here in sunway, how jealous i am to know that most of my friends had went to uk, japan
Jealousy kills, i know.
There are even days that i question god, why am i even exist. Being so sure that my existence wont bring any differences in anyone’s life.
No answers yet, but perhaps someday.
Oh there are also days that i begged to god that i can see him, real soon.
But then, can i ?
Comments