I wonder how did i end up with this kind of attitude. Suddenly semua benda tak kena. I cant conrol my temper anymore ( which is rare ) because i used to not marah marah lansung?? And i become fragile. I also hate to be seen vulnerable. I hate people to know how weak I can be. Is it even normal to have a blog that nobody knows about. To have another socmed acc.. just to really express everything without looking weak and pathetic.
I call it hiding from the outside world.
I mean i dont like hanging out with mu friends anymore. i prefer to do everything alone. I hate being forced to eat with my friends. Even in college, i can go to the lib, lunch, dinner alone. I feel good and at ease but there was one time when my friend saw me eating alone and she was like ‘eh makan sorang je ke, mana lain’ I literally wanted to cry there. I know it was mcm salah sendiri ko yang tknk makan dgn orang. But yeap. Sometimes i feel like i dont have any friends (which i do have) but bcs idk y it was all my fault.
People said count your blessings. I mean yes ? Im doing it? But now im 20 and my dad suddenly mcm ask me to decide everything for myself. Like just set me free. I used to rely everything on him and now idk to who i can turn up to. Its very tiring, its like im floating and idk where to go
I call it hiding from the outside world.
I mean i dont like hanging out with mu friends anymore. i prefer to do everything alone. I hate being forced to eat with my friends. Even in college, i can go to the lib, lunch, dinner alone. I feel good and at ease but there was one time when my friend saw me eating alone and she was like ‘eh makan sorang je ke, mana lain’ I literally wanted to cry there. I know it was mcm salah sendiri ko yang tknk makan dgn orang. But yeap. Sometimes i feel like i dont have any friends (which i do have) but bcs idk y it was all my fault.
People said count your blessings. I mean yes ? Im doing it? But now im 20 and my dad suddenly mcm ask me to decide everything for myself. Like just set me free. I used to rely everything on him and now idk to who i can turn up to. Its very tiring, its like im floating and idk where to go
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