Today i woke up with mix feelings about this firm visit thing. But later i find it very interesting to actually listen to this so called seniors experience in ey. Rn im not sure about wanting to do the obu degree..... but its going to be such a rough journey next year. Really, professional papers are not fun and interesting at all. Um very depressing sometimes. I FREAKIN FAILED FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IN THE MOCK EXAM LIKE OMG and mom was like ‘hah fail ka?’ Yea mom i did. Sorry for not telling you but anyways the whole class failed too :p so heheheh it isnt that bad
Im not sure whether this will remain as a safe place to spill everything or not, i know sometimes i sound like somebody who is drowning and needed help. And people would have think that i was depressed or yeah. But most of the time, i dont really need people to actually pull me from the pool of sadness, i only need people to listen to words that i dont speak and every silence that i give.
There are things that people wont tell others. Something that you hold to yourself, your thoughts and all. You cant spill everything. Its either going to hurt someone, or hurt yourself too. I mean, you have secrets that you keep only to you. I dont like people having that sympathies on me. Like how i love eating alone. I hated to be seen bcs i dont like the idea of somebody approaching me and says ‘eh makan sorang je ke? Nape makan sorang’ . I dont like it. I dont like being seen as something that is weak. Ive spilled everything here bcs i knew no one would ever read. I had another account on socmed bcs sometimes i dont feel comfortable to be me that had to fulfill what people need. I know im beinh defensive over myself. And always thought only on the negative things. Its bad, I know.
To few friends who suddenly discovered about my blog, thank you for asking. Im okay but sometimes things get rough too. And i need a safe place to spill everything that has been killing me.
Im not sure whether this will remain as a safe place to spill everything or not, i know sometimes i sound like somebody who is drowning and needed help. And people would have think that i was depressed or yeah. But most of the time, i dont really need people to actually pull me from the pool of sadness, i only need people to listen to words that i dont speak and every silence that i give.
There are things that people wont tell others. Something that you hold to yourself, your thoughts and all. You cant spill everything. Its either going to hurt someone, or hurt yourself too. I mean, you have secrets that you keep only to you. I dont like people having that sympathies on me. Like how i love eating alone. I hated to be seen bcs i dont like the idea of somebody approaching me and says ‘eh makan sorang je ke? Nape makan sorang’ . I dont like it. I dont like being seen as something that is weak. Ive spilled everything here bcs i knew no one would ever read. I had another account on socmed bcs sometimes i dont feel comfortable to be me that had to fulfill what people need. I know im beinh defensive over myself. And always thought only on the negative things. Its bad, I know.
To few friends who suddenly discovered about my blog, thank you for asking. Im okay but sometimes things get rough too. And i need a safe place to spill everything that has been killing me.
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