3 am thoughts

 Ok here comes the sad post. I ran thru some old stuff and found one of the things that hurt me the most. I hate how forgiving I was and how I end up making the same mistake over the time. I never wanted to give in so easily but at that point I just told myself I will do what I need to do. I know I know we need to move on to keep going forward. but sometimes you cant just forget things easily. and i know i've always had this one particular toxic trait which I always remembered the past constantly and I keep on bringing the stuff up even I said I was ok with it. but some things just break you man and I cant seem to forget about it. Idk how many times do I need to say sorry everytime I accidently brought them up again. It hurts me.  IDK everytime I felt like people are just embarrassed whenever they are around me. I got a person lying about knowing me, doesnt like to be known with me, or used me to get off their friends. And whenever I remember about it, I always ask myself is it worth it?

On a side note, dont sleep after isyak and woke up later at night wide awake. 1 minute you happy 5 hours later you become sad.