Alone Again

I got detached whenever I feel uneasy. And that’s the best way for me to cope (at least for now) when I feel hurt or discomfort be it about people or feelings. It becomes scarier as detachment would only lead me to silent myself and later on losing interest upon something.

It’s true that they said you only got yourself at the end of the day. Ive moved on onto my next journey and I had to relearn to live only with myself again. It is lonely no doubt. There’s always this thoughts running round and the only noise around me is the voice in my head. I couldnt stop it or else I will find myself staring at the ceiling again, feeling empty. Funny how I used to look forward to leave the house and told myself ‘oh this is going to be an exciting journey’. It is indeed. But somehow I got impatient and wanting to restart over and over again whenever I bumped into a slight discomfort.

I got sad and I detached myself and you know what will happen next. Honestly I dont like being alone and feeling lonely and I even hate my own company. I dont love myself enough and I dislike the need to keep on thinking and repeating the thoughts in my head. But I often got overwhelmed by the tiniest thing and people are often disappointing and so I force myself to suck it all and just detached from them.